I cannot get Peter, Paul & Mary's song Leaving On A Jet Plane out of my head the past few days. The song has a pretty similar meaning to what I have been feeling lately (except I'm leaving my father, of course). Dad also has been playing his Peter, Paul & Mary (PPM for short for today's purposes) Pandora station a lot, so I have heard many PPM songs over the past several weeks, including this one. In fact, I brought in my father's iPad into the TICU and played that station for him hoping that it would help relax him given all that he was battling. Last week, in the waiting room at SOPA, I even taught Dad the concept of putting headphones into the iPad to listen to Pandora and he was singing along to this station. Perhaps even he has a lot of PPM songs stuck in his head now, too.
I'm ready to return to my life in New Jersey. However, I am coming back with a very new perspective and I'm fairly weary. To say that I am grateful for my father's life-extending and quality of life-improving transplant would be a gross understatement. That being said, I also have endured a lot of stress over the past 6 weeks. Thankfully, I believe that Dad is truly medically stable and more independent and I feel more comfortable flying back home.
It is time for me to return to my life. I can continue to be involved in my father's care, but do not need to be in Indiana. After many dramatic complications and challenges (including the long wait for the transplant), it will not be easy for Dad to be alone once again. This will not be easy for me either. I have been able to respond to any possible problem the past 40 days, whether it's asking why the ventilator setting have not been adjusted in the TICU, what medication my father should and should no be taking, or if he simply just needs a cold drink of lemonade after having a rough night of little sleep. I hate the idea that I will not be there anymore. Yet, I do not really have to be his spokesperson anymore which is really a good thing since he can speak for himself once again.
Typically, I am very deliberate and do not arbitrarily follow a fad or care if I am a little outdated.. Today, I wear a red rubber bracelet that says "Transplant Matters IU Health" with appreciation. I do not need to tell the wold about my story nor the merits of organ donation (although, I have thought about it!), but it is interesting how an inexpensive bracelet can be a powerful reminder of all that we have been through the past 40 days.
Today all of my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I certainly don't know when I'll be back [to Indy] again. Oh, Dad, I hate to go.
I'm ready to return to my life in New Jersey. However, I am coming back with a very new perspective and I'm fairly weary. To say that I am grateful for my father's life-extending and quality of life-improving transplant would be a gross understatement. That being said, I also have endured a lot of stress over the past 6 weeks. Thankfully, I believe that Dad is truly medically stable and more independent and I feel more comfortable flying back home.
It is time for me to return to my life. I can continue to be involved in my father's care, but do not need to be in Indiana. After many dramatic complications and challenges (including the long wait for the transplant), it will not be easy for Dad to be alone once again. This will not be easy for me either. I have been able to respond to any possible problem the past 40 days, whether it's asking why the ventilator setting have not been adjusted in the TICU, what medication my father should and should no be taking, or if he simply just needs a cold drink of lemonade after having a rough night of little sleep. I hate the idea that I will not be there anymore. Yet, I do not really have to be his spokesperson anymore which is really a good thing since he can speak for himself once again.
Typically, I am very deliberate and do not arbitrarily follow a fad or care if I am a little outdated.. Today, I wear a red rubber bracelet that says "Transplant Matters IU Health" with appreciation. I do not need to tell the wold about my story nor the merits of organ donation (although, I have thought about it!), but it is interesting how an inexpensive bracelet can be a powerful reminder of all that we have been through the past 40 days.
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