I realize this is cliche, but I spend a lot of time thinking about what I would do if I won the lottery. As the Mega Millions is over $500 million this week, there is a lot to dream about. Completely unrealistic, but kind of fun. I try to buy $5 every time the pot grows past $100 million--something I learned from watching Dad do that when I was growing-up--and consider it money that will promptly be wasted. However, you can't win if you don't play, right? Strange, too--I don't gamble at all in other ways, but I feel compelled to play the lottery and continue to have big, unrealistic lottery-winning fantasies.
In past years when the lottery peaked above $100 million, I would think about having prettier household items, traveling to more amazing parts of the world, and a private helicopter to get me around so I never have to sit in traffic on the Pulaski Skyway again. I really don't think I'm too different than many people when I daydream about these things. This week has been giving me a lot to think about what I would do if I won the lottery. It has not been particularly easy week for me:
I don't want to ignite a fiery political debate here, particularly since the Health Care debate was brewing in the Supreme Court this week, but money does not buy health either. Forgetting insurance coverage, there are too many limitations on what science and technology has been able to understand and achieve when it comes to medicine to have solutions to everything. Really--medicine actually has very few true solutions right now (all benefit, no risk).
One day, science may catch-up and this may be a different issue. Dad and I have talked many times about how some day in the future (probably not too long from now), they will grow new organs in labs for transplantation that will not require donors and not face rejection once they are implanted. That sounds like quite a thought to me right now--to be able to say tonight, when they announce the winner:
When I'm in a more realistic mindset, I constantly mull over this actual lottery that Dad's life is at the moment. This process of waiting for a liver transplant really is a lottery. There have been exceptions in the past, however having more money doesn't change your position in line (going back to my money doesn't buy health comment above). As I explained before, being more sick also really doesn't change your place in line, either. In the end, it becomes a process where there is a lot of luck involved. You have to be healthy enough to get onto the list, sick enough (in a particular way) to be placed at the top of the list, and live or be able to relocate to a region that has enough supply of organ donors and not too much demand for them. Let's not forget, you have to time it right, too, so that your demographic (age, body shape, blood type) fits the demographic that are currently offering organs in the area at that time (if there are any, per my earlier organ donor discussions this week) once you are at the top of the list. The stars need to align to get a liver in this country, just like winning the lottery.
I am trying to be more optimistic. Constant negativity about this situation will not help, as I keep telling myself. And Dad. I have to think that there is something positive waiting for someone like my father who has worked hard his entire life, played by the rules, and hasn't asked for much from anyone in almost his entire life. Perhaps everything we have gone through so far will pay-off....maybe it's our turn to win...soon...
My mazel.
- We have reached the 12 week milestone of Dad living in Indiana waiting on the liver transplant list
- Mom has had a tough few weeks and it is very difficult knowing she is struggling by herself while Dad is extremely sick in Indiana while I am healthy (yet stressed!) in New Jersey
- Dad has been feeling particularly sick this past week: so sick that he has been unable to do some basic things for himself which makes me very scared to know that my strong and independent father is sick enough that he can barely get things done these days
- My husband has been away on a work trip while the household chores have not been away
- Work seems to add more stress to my life when I really just need a little break, so this week was no exception
- I haven't felt great this week physically. Not anything terrible, but it kicks off something interesting these days. I don't feel well, then I start to feel a little sorry for myself, then feel incredibly guilty when I consider how healthy I am, particularly relative to my parents, then I get upset about how sick both of my parents are, and then I feel even worse. (Yes, I also realize I listed out complaints about my week that are really not that bad--I feel guilty about that, too) It's a fun cycle--I highly recommend it.
I don't want to ignite a fiery political debate here, particularly since the Health Care debate was brewing in the Supreme Court this week, but money does not buy health either. Forgetting insurance coverage, there are too many limitations on what science and technology has been able to understand and achieve when it comes to medicine to have solutions to everything. Really--medicine actually has very few true solutions right now (all benefit, no risk).
One day, science may catch-up and this may be a different issue. Dad and I have talked many times about how some day in the future (probably not too long from now), they will grow new organs in labs for transplantation that will not require donors and not face rejection once they are implanted. That sounds like quite a thought to me right now--to be able to say tonight, when they announce the winner:
They have just completed growing your liver, Dad! They are ready to replace your useless liver with a shiny, new one!I'm obviously going deep into fantasy-land here, but this is what I really think about now. Not the Mega Millions lottery, but a version of the future of medicine becoming reality today. In reality, both of my fantasy-lands are similar--never going to happen but nice to think about sometimes.
When I'm in a more realistic mindset, I constantly mull over this actual lottery that Dad's life is at the moment. This process of waiting for a liver transplant really is a lottery. There have been exceptions in the past, however having more money doesn't change your position in line (going back to my money doesn't buy health comment above). As I explained before, being more sick also really doesn't change your place in line, either. In the end, it becomes a process where there is a lot of luck involved. You have to be healthy enough to get onto the list, sick enough (in a particular way) to be placed at the top of the list, and live or be able to relocate to a region that has enough supply of organ donors and not too much demand for them. Let's not forget, you have to time it right, too, so that your demographic (age, body shape, blood type) fits the demographic that are currently offering organs in the area at that time (if there are any, per my earlier organ donor discussions this week) once you are at the top of the list. The stars need to align to get a liver in this country, just like winning the lottery.
I am trying to be more optimistic. Constant negativity about this situation will not help, as I keep telling myself. And Dad. I have to think that there is something positive waiting for someone like my father who has worked hard his entire life, played by the rules, and hasn't asked for much from anyone in almost his entire life. Perhaps everything we have gone through so far will pay-off....maybe it's our turn to win...soon...
My mazel.
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