Between the complications from advanced liver disease, side effects from the long list of drugs, and the bleakness that comes with being extremely sick in a strange and cold place while waiting for a liver transplant, Dad has not been up for leaving the hotel room. During my 3 day visit with him last weekend, we spent a good chunk of time tracking medication dosing and trying to control the symptoms that are relentless. We didn't get out much, but when we did, I had a very interesting [interesting not in a good way] experience that I'm still trying to understand. More on that later.
One positive social aspect of the weekend was taking advantage of our cell phones to talk to concerned family members and using FaceTime. Technology is amazing. 10 years ago I began using a Motorola clunker of a cell phone sparingly and today I don't have a home phone line and we can FaceTime! Dad and I FaceTime-d with my husband a few times throughout the weekend to check on his progress of cleaning our house while I was away (joking! well, sort of...). My husband is always good for helping lighten the mood and injecting a few jokes into the conversation. Also, early on Saturday morning we 'met' my friend's 8-month old daughter for the first time from Florida. Aside from the fact that it adds 10 pounds to your face and it is generally not flattering, FaceTime is awesome!
We dared to venture out of the hotel on Monday. After waiting out another bought of nausea, we took advantage of my rental car and drove around Indianapolis in the afternoon. We drove all around downtown Indianapolis and could not escape the preparations for the Superbowl. The football stadium is in the heart of the city (which is really only a few square blocks in total), so there's a very compact area buzzing with construction vehicles, Superbowl banners, and in-progress tents.
After doing several loops in the little downtown area, we headed up to the museum. The Indianapolis Museum of Art is a short drive from the city center. We walked (correction: I held on tight to Dad as we strolled as his balance is terrible now as part of his condition) through the 2nd floor exhibits of American and European art for about an hour. My favorite piece was probably a large Georgia O'Keeffe painting and Dad really liked an American crystal bowl and the older American furniture on display.
Here is where the "interesting" story takes place. Taking a short hydration/snack break before getting back into the car for our adventure outside of the hotel, I went to grab a couple of sodas at the cafe. I noticed a woman and presumably her son and smiled at them while looking for an easy way to get sodas while everyone at the counter was in line for larger food orders. After walking over to wait in line to place an order a few minutes later, the same woman comes to me and says "did you just take a bite out of my muffin?"
Of course, my first reaction was "is this a joke?", but she looked at me more intensely and I realized she was serious. Very serious.
I responded " Excuse me? I'm not sure I heard you correctly. 'Did I take a bite out of your muffin?' No."
And she looks at her son then back at me and says "you are a Liar and you know it! You were CAUGHT eating my muffin!"
Now I'm doing my best to evaluate the situation and trying to control my emotions. I am totally exhausted and overwhelmed after being a caregiver for my father for 3 solid days who is absolutely miserable. I am exhausted from the stress that my father is so ill and so close to an enormous surgery--if he survives. I have had no sleep in close to a week now. I don't know whether to be quiet and ignore her, laugh because only with 'my mazel' does something like this happen on a day like this, or fight back since that's my first reaction.
I barely had time to decide what to say and this woman walks back to me, puts her index finger in my face, and says "You are a LIAR and your are IGNORANT!".
WOW. Really? Is this a sign? Is this a test? Is this really happening?
I turned around, closed my eyes, and took 2 deep yoga breaths. This woman was out of her mind and responding to her now would not help. I was still getting the stare-of-death for a solid couple of minutes while I continued to wait in this line. In a museum. In Indianapolis. Mostly to try to protect myself and my father from her taking this to the next level, I turned around, looked at her, and calmly said "I apologize, however, there must be a misunderstanding. I can assure you that I did not take a bite out of your muffin."
To this, another woman that was either her friend or relative that now stood next to her looked at me and just quietly shook her head and made a hand signal to ignore the crazy woman, silently telling me "don't worry, she's crazy." I felt a little better once I saw that, but I still can't believe that someone publicly comes after me out of nowhere for something like that.
Thankfully, there were no further incidents in our outing. We got back into the car and drove up to Broad Ripple Village and did a few loops around that cute, artsy area. We drove on to see the Benjamin Harrison Presidential Site, but just parked outside to view as it was closed. Driving on, we completed almost a full loop of Indianapolis through the East side of town, through downtown, and back to the hotel.
To cap-off our adventurous day, a good friend stopped by the hotel Monday night as part of her first overnight apart from her 1-year-old daughter (she was on a work-related trip). Wow--what a calming feeling to be with her. Always comforting to be in the presence of someone that cares about you. It's no surprise that Dad is completely miserable all of the time--he has no one in Indiana to connect with.
I am served a daily dose of reality and extremely difficult situations these days. After being with Dad for 3 full days, I can really start to appreciate how tough his situation is. I have been in some unusual positions at work and at the museum in the past week that I would typically react poorly, however I am a little more calm. That is certainly an unexpected by-product of such a miserable situation: I can handle crazy strangers better! Even more important, though, is that I have learned that there are loved ones that are there for me and my family, so I'm not going through this all alone. Neither is Dad, although it may certainly feel that way to him most of the time. Plus, I have a blog to vent to as well--it can't be that bad for me, right?
Did I take a bite out of your muffin? Really?
One positive social aspect of the weekend was taking advantage of our cell phones to talk to concerned family members and using FaceTime. Technology is amazing. 10 years ago I began using a Motorola clunker of a cell phone sparingly and today I don't have a home phone line and we can FaceTime! Dad and I FaceTime-d with my husband a few times throughout the weekend to check on his progress of cleaning our house while I was away (joking! well, sort of...). My husband is always good for helping lighten the mood and injecting a few jokes into the conversation. Also, early on Saturday morning we 'met' my friend's 8-month old daughter for the first time from Florida. Aside from the fact that it adds 10 pounds to your face and it is generally not flattering, FaceTime is awesome!
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| This is at the airport, but a typical scene throughout Indianapolis right now |
After doing several loops in the little downtown area, we headed up to the museum. The Indianapolis Museum of Art is a short drive from the city center. We walked (correction: I held on tight to Dad as we strolled as his balance is terrible now as part of his condition) through the 2nd floor exhibits of American and European art for about an hour. My favorite piece was probably a large Georgia O'Keeffe painting and Dad really liked an American crystal bowl and the older American furniture on display.
Here is where the "interesting" story takes place. Taking a short hydration/snack break before getting back into the car for our adventure outside of the hotel, I went to grab a couple of sodas at the cafe. I noticed a woman and presumably her son and smiled at them while looking for an easy way to get sodas while everyone at the counter was in line for larger food orders. After walking over to wait in line to place an order a few minutes later, the same woman comes to me and says "did you just take a bite out of my muffin?"
Of course, my first reaction was "is this a joke?", but she looked at me more intensely and I realized she was serious. Very serious.
I responded " Excuse me? I'm not sure I heard you correctly. 'Did I take a bite out of your muffin?' No."
And she looks at her son then back at me and says "you are a Liar and you know it! You were CAUGHT eating my muffin!"
Now I'm doing my best to evaluate the situation and trying to control my emotions. I am totally exhausted and overwhelmed after being a caregiver for my father for 3 solid days who is absolutely miserable. I am exhausted from the stress that my father is so ill and so close to an enormous surgery--if he survives. I have had no sleep in close to a week now. I don't know whether to be quiet and ignore her, laugh because only with 'my mazel' does something like this happen on a day like this, or fight back since that's my first reaction.
I barely had time to decide what to say and this woman walks back to me, puts her index finger in my face, and says "You are a LIAR and your are IGNORANT!".
WOW. Really? Is this a sign? Is this a test? Is this really happening?
I turned around, closed my eyes, and took 2 deep yoga breaths. This woman was out of her mind and responding to her now would not help. I was still getting the stare-of-death for a solid couple of minutes while I continued to wait in this line. In a museum. In Indianapolis. Mostly to try to protect myself and my father from her taking this to the next level, I turned around, looked at her, and calmly said "I apologize, however, there must be a misunderstanding. I can assure you that I did not take a bite out of your muffin."
To this, another woman that was either her friend or relative that now stood next to her looked at me and just quietly shook her head and made a hand signal to ignore the crazy woman, silently telling me "don't worry, she's crazy." I felt a little better once I saw that, but I still can't believe that someone publicly comes after me out of nowhere for something like that.
Thankfully, there were no further incidents in our outing. We got back into the car and drove up to Broad Ripple Village and did a few loops around that cute, artsy area. We drove on to see the Benjamin Harrison Presidential Site, but just parked outside to view as it was closed. Driving on, we completed almost a full loop of Indianapolis through the East side of town, through downtown, and back to the hotel.
To cap-off our adventurous day, a good friend stopped by the hotel Monday night as part of her first overnight apart from her 1-year-old daughter (she was on a work-related trip). Wow--what a calming feeling to be with her. Always comforting to be in the presence of someone that cares about you. It's no surprise that Dad is completely miserable all of the time--he has no one in Indiana to connect with.
I am served a daily dose of reality and extremely difficult situations these days. After being with Dad for 3 full days, I can really start to appreciate how tough his situation is. I have been in some unusual positions at work and at the museum in the past week that I would typically react poorly, however I am a little more calm. That is certainly an unexpected by-product of such a miserable situation: I can handle crazy strangers better! Even more important, though, is that I have learned that there are loved ones that are there for me and my family, so I'm not going through this all alone. Neither is Dad, although it may certainly feel that way to him most of the time. Plus, I have a blog to vent to as well--it can't be that bad for me, right?
Did I take a bite out of your muffin? Really?
My mazel.
Only for you, my dear. I'm giggling over your story because there are ten thousand more like her scattered across the Midwest but your kind face let her hang it all out. She revealed every ounce of paranoid craziness that a lifetime supply of mercury laden tuna (en casserole) will bring up in a person.
ReplyDeleteGod bless the Middle people.
But really... Did you take a bite of her muffin?
;-)